Unfortunately, I have had little to report the last two weeks, at least on Mexican culture, for life has been busy with the reading – and, yes, reviewing – of an eight hundred page document in Spanish on how to harmonize accounting standards. That and compliance with Salvador’s gauntlet. Salvador is a kindly older neighbor here in Querétaro, who occasionally gets fed up with my whining about a different catastrophe in my life every week.
Around Thanksgiving, Salvador announced that he had enough and so he pointed his finger at me and said something to effect that “your people are making a big production out of saying thanks right now.” Salvador lives up to his name. He challenged me to write down any two people for whom I felt grateful during each of the fifty-three years of my life.
This group could include anybody – family member, movie actor, teacher, John Lennon, friend, national leader, anybody. Dutifully, I dissected the past – usually found wanting – and realized that my fashionably tragic life had produced more mirth than myth. In fact, the two man rule swept many dear friends into the great dust-bin of history; I think, in retrospect, that was the point.
Feeling fitly smug after this ‘spiritual discipline’ and winding down the Chinese palabra torture, I magnanimously consented to my novia’s desire to see a recent Julia Roberts flic, “Eat, Love, Pray”. Bracing myself for a piping tepid chick-flic, I was pleasantly surprised. The story-line is a romantic adventure about a woman setting out to find her authenticity in three very spiritual places: Rome, Calcutta and Bali. In the film, Smiley finds her inner peace with some simple ideas for complicated people.
A pilgrimage defying all expectations
Like Julia Roberts, but at a younger age, and like a great many others, I made the requisite trip to India. Unlike the film, where Smiley works scrubbing the floors of an Ashram, I worked in a hospital. My inspiration to lose myself in “the East” was not from a dark night of the soul, like Smiley; yes, in truth, I was inspired by Mia Farrow in the Woody Allen film, ‘Alice’. Perhaps not the best start, but enough.
On the trip over and during my stay, I hunched over the Book of Tao; the King James from Saint Edmund’s; the Buddha’s sayings; the least boring book by Joseph Campbell I could find; Parzifal by von Eschenbach; and, the Little Prince. This disciplined study intended to lay the foundation for some Unitarian version of the pilgrim’s catharsis, if not progress.
In Calcutta, the quarters were spare and the work demanding. Nevertheless, during my short stay, I had some riveting experiences like blowing chow apocalyptically and being saved by the capitalist pigs of Pepsi Cola. There were young people from all over the world at this hospital.
One such youngster was an acquaintance from the West Coast, Richard. As the only two Yanks in the place, we spent some time together, when I wasn’t busy vainly seeking enlightenment from one of three beautiful Parisian women with whom I practiced la belle langue and, dammit, nothing else.
Since I am a little doofy and almost barfed when cleaning feces the first time, my Cali-bud -- the temporary head of volunteers owing to his seniority -- did not know what to do with me. Out of a potent mix of exasperation and desperation, just prior to lunch one steaming hot India day, he asked me to sit with a patient who was obviously agitated.
The lesson learned
This poor fellow was in cot #33 by the Y-shaped entrance (main door, anteroom, two doors on either side up a few stairs). The anal details apparently had great significance as I later learned from a psychic who was the wife of a friend of my sister and brother-in-law. So I sat down with the man. He looked like a Muslim; since I could speak neither Arabic nor Hindi, I could only sit there like a dumb ass.
Around Thanksgiving, Salvador announced that he had enough and so he pointed his finger at me and said something to effect that “your people are making a big production out of saying thanks right now.” Salvador lives up to his name. He challenged me to write down any two people for whom I felt grateful during each of the fifty-three years of my life.
This group could include anybody – family member, movie actor, teacher, John Lennon, friend, national leader, anybody. Dutifully, I dissected the past – usually found wanting – and realized that my fashionably tragic life had produced more mirth than myth. In fact, the two man rule swept many dear friends into the great dust-bin of history; I think, in retrospect, that was the point.
Feeling fitly smug after this ‘spiritual discipline’ and winding down the Chinese palabra torture, I magnanimously consented to my novia’s desire to see a recent Julia Roberts flic, “Eat, Love, Pray”. Bracing myself for a piping tepid chick-flic, I was pleasantly surprised. The story-line is a romantic adventure about a woman setting out to find her authenticity in three very spiritual places: Rome, Calcutta and Bali. In the film, Smiley finds her inner peace with some simple ideas for complicated people.
A pilgrimage defying all expectations
Like Julia Roberts, but at a younger age, and like a great many others, I made the requisite trip to India. Unlike the film, where Smiley works scrubbing the floors of an Ashram, I worked in a hospital. My inspiration to lose myself in “the East” was not from a dark night of the soul, like Smiley; yes, in truth, I was inspired by Mia Farrow in the Woody Allen film, ‘Alice’. Perhaps not the best start, but enough.
On the trip over and during my stay, I hunched over the Book of Tao; the King James from Saint Edmund’s; the Buddha’s sayings; the least boring book by Joseph Campbell I could find; Parzifal by von Eschenbach; and, the Little Prince. This disciplined study intended to lay the foundation for some Unitarian version of the pilgrim’s catharsis, if not progress.
In Calcutta, the quarters were spare and the work demanding. Nevertheless, during my short stay, I had some riveting experiences like blowing chow apocalyptically and being saved by the capitalist pigs of Pepsi Cola. There were young people from all over the world at this hospital.
One such youngster was an acquaintance from the West Coast, Richard. As the only two Yanks in the place, we spent some time together, when I wasn’t busy vainly seeking enlightenment from one of three beautiful Parisian women with whom I practiced la belle langue and, dammit, nothing else.
Since I am a little doofy and almost barfed when cleaning feces the first time, my Cali-bud -- the temporary head of volunteers owing to his seniority -- did not know what to do with me. Out of a potent mix of exasperation and desperation, just prior to lunch one steaming hot India day, he asked me to sit with a patient who was obviously agitated.
The lesson learned
This poor fellow was in cot #33 by the Y-shaped entrance (main door, anteroom, two doors on either side up a few stairs). The anal details apparently had great significance as I later learned from a psychic who was the wife of a friend of my sister and brother-in-law. So I sat down with the man. He looked like a Muslim; since I could speak neither Arabic nor Hindi, I could only sit there like a dumb ass.
The poor fellow would not take any food. Despite my diversions employed to sneak some orange juice into his mouth, only to see this dying man maintain his dignity by spitting out the juice. The obvious conclusion stiffened me momentarily: this man was prepared to depart.
So, I tried the technique of Erich Fromme by gently rubbing the shaking man's forehead and saying softly enough for him alone to hear, "I need you because I love you." That may sound strange but that was all I could think of to say.
So, I tried the technique of Erich Fromme by gently rubbing the shaking man's forehead and saying softly enough for him alone to hear, "I need you because I love you." That may sound strange but that was all I could think of to say.
Remarkably, the fellow calmed down and seemed soothed by my make-shift succor. When I returned from lunch, cot #33 was empty; my temporary companion had departed. Captain California noticed my ambivalent success and assigned me to cot #33, once again into my morning shift.
The same sobering scenario unfolded again. When I returned from lunch, cot #33 was empty once again. There was a quiet dignity to these men as they faced their deaths with calm, aided by me, and with a diligent dignity practiced long before I showed up.
Needless to say, I approached the impromptu foreman the next morning and said, "Richard, if I am to sit by cot #33 again, perhaps you should get the permission of the patient first.
The lesson earned
My California friend took to saying in response to my frequently unanswerable and mainly rhetorical questions, “Eat dessert first; life is uncertain.”
¡EUREKA! Mission accomplished…I am Zen; Zen again, I am Ned. Time to go home.
Some weeks later, braving the raw temps of April in New York, I was walking back to my apartment late on a stormy week-day night. Venturing South on Lexington Avenue, I walked past two blocks around Seventieth Street that hosted beautiful pre-War red-brick buildings. The rain was hard, cold and strident. The umbrella had been useless since at least Eightieth Street. I was only a little less drenched than the damnable trench coast.
On the first floor of these buildings were fine toilet shops, heirlooms-bought-or-stolen-and-sold and an obnoxious interior decorating store. That decorating store would switch its display periodically but never deviated from its formulaic format of a Victorian couch with fine, goofy pillows, one of which had a needle-pointed platitude like “Eat, Pray, Love”.
As I passed the display window, I wiped the lens of my glasses to read some trite and true saying. And what was that month’s perfect pillow-talk? You guessed it: “Eat Dessert First; Life is Uncertain.”
This time around, ‘Eureka’ was hardly the first word to cross my mind.
Needless to say, I approached the impromptu foreman the next morning and said, "Richard, if I am to sit by cot #33 again, perhaps you should get the permission of the patient first.
The lesson earned
My California friend took to saying in response to my frequently unanswerable and mainly rhetorical questions, “Eat dessert first; life is uncertain.”
¡EUREKA! Mission accomplished…I am Zen; Zen again, I am Ned. Time to go home.
Some weeks later, braving the raw temps of April in New York, I was walking back to my apartment late on a stormy week-day night. Venturing South on Lexington Avenue, I walked past two blocks around Seventieth Street that hosted beautiful pre-War red-brick buildings. The rain was hard, cold and strident. The umbrella had been useless since at least Eightieth Street. I was only a little less drenched than the damnable trench coast.
On the first floor of these buildings were fine toilet shops, heirlooms-bought-or-stolen-and-sold and an obnoxious interior decorating store. That decorating store would switch its display periodically but never deviated from its formulaic format of a Victorian couch with fine, goofy pillows, one of which had a needle-pointed platitude like “Eat, Pray, Love”.
As I passed the display window, I wiped the lens of my glasses to read some trite and true saying. And what was that month’s perfect pillow-talk? You guessed it: “Eat Dessert First; Life is Uncertain.”
This time around, ‘Eureka’ was hardly the first word to cross my mind.